he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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