i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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