I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
