So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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