based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
