it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
