i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
