He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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