Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Are my feet made of real feet?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
