he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
