After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
