You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
just tell him i said nine months
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
