Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
