take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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