lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
