forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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