So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
