can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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