We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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