I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize