Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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