at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize