yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
