Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize