I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
