A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
