Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
