You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Randomize
