I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Congratulations! We have a period
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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