god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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