Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Randomize
