i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
