At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
