She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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