I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
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