The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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