Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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