he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
