bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize