I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
