he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
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