dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
