nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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