The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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