Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
