dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
