she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Randomize
