Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
