After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
