Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
