He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
