Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Randomize
