i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
