I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I am naked and annoyed.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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