i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
