just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
