I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
