so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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