He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
