For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
