You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
It's just like the Real World with babies
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Randomize