Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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