Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
